Sunshine and Birds

I should be out there somewhere, enjoying the sun and nature. I should not be cooped up here in my room getting depressed about how my life is turning into. I should be running around the park chasing butterflies, I should be rowing a boat and laughing at myself for not being able to row myself back to the dock, I should be doing anything other than wallowing in self-pity. I get depressed 24/7 and I should just snap out of it.

A lot of people are jobless for months and years. I only have been unemployed for two months. I am trying my best to find a job. I should be viewing this situation as something I have faced proactively since I haven't been just waiting for miracles to happen. I have forwarded my resumes, applied to several companies and I am presently waiting for their reply.

Somehow, the non-response so far is getting me down. I appreciate the sun but I can't bring myself to think positive. Will I inevitably end up with the companies that I have dreaded to belong to? I am still hopeful but the glass is half-empty. I should just listen to that bird chirping by my window but somehow I can't find the inspiration to find that chirp melodious. I find it irritating, noisy and mocking. It seems to be saying, "You are just so confident, weren't you? You just have to tell everybody that your degree will land you a job with an impressive title. You just have to be so reassuring, weren't you? Where are you now? Where's the confidence now, loser?"

C'mon. Where is a slingshot when you need one? Dammit.