I'm Home

I am sheltered. That statement is true to some extent. I have realized this a few years back but refused to believe it's true. Instead, I made myself believe that I am independent and fearless. That is not totally true. I have been away from home lots of times for more than a day but my parents never stop getting in touch each day that I'm away. They text, they call and during the times that I do not own a cellphone, they text and call whoever I'm with at the time I am away.

Back in high school, we came back from a fieldtrip so tired that we decided to crash in our classrooms for the night and go home in the morning. I texted my parents that it's impossible to get a cab because it's too late in the night so I'm going to crash in one of the rooms with some of my classmates. A few minutes after I've finally fallen asleep, dad and mom woke me up. I thought I was dreaming. But they're there picking me up because they were worried I'd be sleeping on the concrete floor with no blanket, which is true enough. However, it's a little annoying and embarassing to be the only high school kid in your whole class whose parents came and picked you up and you're not even sickly, sick or dying.

Whenever I go on out of town trips, my parents are the only ones asking me how I am every after meal and then telling me to come home the morning of the day of my scheduled return. While it's sweet, it can really be irritating. I know I can handle myself and I am not at all fragile. Somehow, my staying in my parent's house to this day (I'm freaking 23 years old) makes them think I am still five years old. I tried to live away from them but I did get sick. I went home, got hospitalized and they won't allow me to go away again so I quit my job and went back home. Until now, I know I have to stay with my parents because 1) I save a lot on food and bills, 2) I'm in my comfort zone, 3) I'm going to grad school and I need financial support.

Don't get me wrong. I think my parents are sweet and I know they only want to protect me. However, I believe that teaching a bird how to fly would require that the bird leave the nest and take a few falls in order to  be able to spread its wings without flapping awkawardly and falling again. No matter how hard it is for a mother bird to let go of her little birdies, they have to fly and learn to fend for themselves because it's a fact of life that our parents won't always be here for us. I fear that the only time I can ever leave home permanently is when I get married and have kids of my own and I don't want that to be the case. I really hope not. I'm sheltered but I want to break free soon or else I will never know if I can make it on my own and that's really scary. I'm home right where my parents are but I know I'll have to make my own home in some other place.